Happily Ever After

There was a time when getting married was considered a moral obligation and a part of cultural dignity. The male part was taken as a symbol of responsibility and security whereas female was taken as a beatification sign and domestic strength. Long and time-consuming efforts were done to get a pair in making, with the groom’s family visiting the bride-to-be's family, presenting themselves as a best match for the girl. Picture-sharing was the typical presentation formula for both the boy and girl. It was almost impossible for the future life partner to see each other before legally married.

Marriages solemnized during that era were taken as long-term, never-ending relations, where family values, mutual respect and loyalties held the relation together and ever stronger. Personal gains and interest always stood last. The foremost issue had been the happiness and interest of family. Eating together was considered as a sign of ever-growing prosperity. The grandchildren were always the apples of the eye for aging parents. In-laws were loved, cared for and respected as real parents.

But as they say good things always change with time. Values change. Cultural polarization brought change in the thought process. People changed. Values which were once considered against the religion and culture are being taken as a need of time. Traditional inter-family marriages are taken over by inter-cultural marriages. Language, cast, creed and religion remain no bar. The one reason which has brought such a drastic change has been education. Not only it widened thought process but also played a key role in giving new meaning to relationships.

The other reason which played significant role has been ever-blooming electronic media. Talk shows portraying women liberty, working women, movies of different cultures, fashion shows and of course the dramas. Men and women working side by side, getting basic as well as higher education at same institute removed any prohibition which once were significant part of cultural values.

Choosing life partner in such setting has become more common. Still, the parents have to be involved, as we still value our culture and respect elders to some extent. But after getting married, the picture starts to get more clearer, as many issues start creeping into social life. Most common of these is the failure of the new bride to accommodate the in-laws in her life. If she is working, then it is more than complicated. There develops a failure to balance new relations in life. In a culture that we are in, it is not very difficult to understand that parents are to be cared for, loved and respected. This goes for both man and woman. The outcome of such a scenario has a two-prongs effect; either the young lady slowly starts understanding her role and adjusts in new family setup or totally ignores it, making life a bit hard for herself and for her husband. The former situation brings about a better and positive change whereas the latter has all the negative possibilities in offing.

So when we start analysing, it is not very difficult to conclude that the culture and tradition we are brought up has its values different than what is being depicted as modern era needs. The new generation will not have much of a problem in finding a solution. The only thing needed for them to do is to just recall how their parents got along together so many years, loving and caring for each other, bringing up the kids and caring for aging parents. It requires sacrifices from both partners and compromise few times, here and there.

This approach has all the ingredients for what we call long term relations, because no other way one can have a happy life. It’s a give and take attitude which bears fruit of fulfillment, and most of it is giving rather than taking which is more satisfying…