Happily Ever After

There was a time when getting married was considered a moral obligation and a part of cultural dignity. The male part was taken as a symbol of responsibility and security whereas female was taken as a beatification sign and domestic strength. Long and time-consuming efforts were done to get a pair in making, with the groom’s family visiting the bride-to-be's family, presenting themselves as a best match for the girl. Picture-sharing was the typical presentation formula for both the boy and girl. It was almost impossible for the future life partner to see each other before legally married.

Marriages solemnized during that era were taken as long-term, never-ending relations, where family values, mutual respect and loyalties held the relation together and ever stronger. Personal gains and interest always stood last. The foremost issue had been the happiness and interest of family. Eating together was considered as a sign of ever-growing prosperity. The grandchildren were always the apples of the eye for aging parents. In-laws were loved, cared for and respected as real parents.

But as they say good things always change with time. Values change. Cultural polarization brought change in the thought process. People changed. Values which were once considered against the religion and culture are being taken as a need of time. Traditional inter-family marriages are taken over by inter-cultural marriages. Language, cast, creed and religion remain no bar. The one reason which has brought such a drastic change has been education. Not only it widened thought process but also played a key role in giving new meaning to relationships.

The other reason which played significant role has been ever-blooming electronic media. Talk shows portraying women liberty, working women, movies of different cultures, fashion shows and of course the dramas. Men and women working side by side, getting basic as well as higher education at same institute removed any prohibition which once were significant part of cultural values.

Choosing life partner in such setting has become more common. Still, the parents have to be involved, as we still value our culture and respect elders to some extent. But after getting married, the picture starts to get more clearer, as many issues start creeping into social life. Most common of these is the failure of the new bride to accommodate the in-laws in her life. If she is working, then it is more than complicated. There develops a failure to balance new relations in life. In a culture that we are in, it is not very difficult to understand that parents are to be cared for, loved and respected. This goes for both man and woman. The outcome of such a scenario has a two-prongs effect; either the young lady slowly starts understanding her role and adjusts in new family setup or totally ignores it, making life a bit hard for herself and for her husband. The former situation brings about a better and positive change whereas the latter has all the negative possibilities in offing.

So when we start analysing, it is not very difficult to conclude that the culture and tradition we are brought up has its values different than what is being depicted as modern era needs. The new generation will not have much of a problem in finding a solution. The only thing needed for them to do is to just recall how their parents got along together so many years, loving and caring for each other, bringing up the kids and caring for aging parents. It requires sacrifices from both partners and compromise few times, here and there.

This approach has all the ingredients for what we call long term relations, because no other way one can have a happy life. It’s a give and take attitude which bears fruit of fulfillment, and most of it is giving rather than taking which is more satisfying…

Think Twice!

None of us can deny that they love shopping and getting themselves some new garments, furniture items, kitchen ware etc. but who can claim they are the best shoppers! you can get your self- assessment by going through the following. We can categorize consumers into four different classes:

Class 1: They are the ones who don’t have expenditure limitations. They have a what we call shopaholic nature. Choosing expensive outlets is their target. They look for the most expensive price tag of the items they like, even if cheaper ones are available. To bargain is not in their vocabulary. Not to bargain is what they call is a status symbol. As for the seller, they are the best bargain of the day. They sell may be the most average items for the top price… may be at a few soft drinks cost!

Class 2: They go around shopping with wallet full of cash and with mind full of sense. They know before hand what to buy and the budget for it. They have lot of time and money available to them to shop around, select the best item and buy! As for the cost they put their own price tag! But they are most difficult of customers from the seller’s view. He can’t get much out of their wallets... talking about some extra bucks! So no soft drinks to offer.

Class 3: Their sense of shopping is primarily dictated by the capacity of the wallet and it is has limits! So they go on purchasing on daily or thrice weekly basis. To safe some money is the prime rule. Bargaining they do, but if it doesn’t work, they sacrifice quality to still safe something for tomorrow! And from sellers view they get good sale from this group, because cheaper items come much cheaper, be it grocery, fruits, furniture or electronics etc.

Class 4: This is the class of people that doesn’t shop because they have to earn their living today. They can only go for getting their necessities, the next day. Happy-go-lucky, they are.They toll hard all day long, with no worries at all for the coming day. They are the surviving ones -- the majority in our cultural set up! All they need is two meals a day, a place to sleep and some work for they next day. When they go shopping they aren’t any worry to seller.

So, if you are among the top three, don’t think you are very lucky, think about the unlucky ones; someday that can make you very lucky!

Caring

This single word, though seemingly simple carries a heavy commitment and, of course, care. As you all know, one can never guess when one's time ends. We have two choices to live our lives; live as insensitive careless being or share some burden of our fellow human beings by any which way we can. To be sensitive and to care leaves an ever-lasting impact on people around us and visa versa.

The motto is to have the will and to do good for the well-being of fellow humans and to yourself. Please join hands and let us seek around if some one needs any help or a place where they can share their problems.

As a physician, I can help you on my part. Just post your problems concerning health or social issues and let me give you the best and most suitable advice.